Feeling lost

For quite some time now I have felt lost.  It pretty much started when I had my last kid.  I have been left with this feeling of " who am I exactly".  It feels like though over the years I have lost myself or I never knew who I was really.  Besides being a wife and mother really who am I?  I have been sitting on this.  I feel as like I really put every ones needs before mine way too much.  But, at the same time that is just the way that I have always been. I have been a nurturer since I was little.

Playing things growing up I would say that I wanted to be a librarian because we would play school.  Then I would say a bagger at the grocery store because of playing grocery store.  I had a little shopping cart and would use the coffee table as a conveyor belt.  My favorite was that I said I wanted to fill the soda vending machines, really! I guess there was a man that had showed me how to do it when I was little and I was fascinated with it.  Other then that I never had dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I never had plans for myself.  Truth of the matter is that I never thought that I would be this old.  I couldn't see myself this far when I was in High School even.

Now that I am 32 Married and have 3 kids where do I see myself?  I see day to day and some of the tasks that I have to do tomorrow.  What I want more then anything is to be able to see myself as an individual!  I want to be able to feel things without it being one side of the spectrum or the other.  Meaning for me.....I either get supper emotional or I am tuned out.  I would love to figure out who I am some where in my healing process.